Brain Freeze

12:57 PM

Well, it's more like writer's block than I-chugged-my-sno-cone but in the thoughts sense, not the writing sense.  Or maybe yes? idk. I haven't written much as of late due to random "Grace, you were supposed to be in *city#2* today. Where are you?" issues with the Boss. I'd write on it, but I whinge enough as it is w/o doing anything about the problem.  (As my Grandpa would say, "shit or get off the pot")

I guess the freeze is as follows...

  • I know I hate my job & need to search for a new one

  • I know I need a new apt - 1 bedroom - no roomie

I don't want to change apts until I have a new job. The city has nothing in the way of marketing positions right now. And with the "maybe/kinda/yes" recession-ish thing we're going through...

  • should I just wait it out a little longer?

  • should I look at other cities? nothing really ties me here

  • I could look East - everyone seems to be slowly migrating that direction

  • I miss living elsewhere where I can explore and feel uninhibited

  • I miss London.

Whoa. I miss London. I mean, I have for a while, but that feeling disapated a bit as I was busy graduating and then working. It's been 2 yrs, and I am almost afraid that I will go back* expecting the same excitement I had - and fail.

Part of me is holding off on the finding a new job thing because I want to make a decision on where to live. Do I stick it out here in the city? I like it well enough. Part of me wants to move, to get away, to start fresh. I have nothing/no one to run from; In fact, all my favorites are within 2hrs from here. However, I feel like it's necessary for me to go somewhere alone and find myself - before it's too late. 

"Too Late" = tied to a job I like, longterm boyfriend, big close (thiscityclose) network of friends - basically just having a group or job that I am dependent on for my happiness

So, do I do now? Run, jump, fly to somewhere else? Where?

*London is too expensive at this exchange rate so... put on the backburner?

You Might Also Like