Damsel in Distress vs. Independent Woman

1:40 PM



 Is it possible to be both?

Lately, my dreams have been stranger than usual.  Yes, I remember almost all my dreams.  Yes, I dream every night.  That may be strange in itself.  However, they normally play out like normal days with a few minor changes – such that sometimes I cant tell what was dreamt and what actually happened.  In the last 2 wks though, I’ve dreamt of:


  • Heavy metal band in a 12 person muddy moshpit w/ couches

  • A giant Koala

  • Strange purple dresses

  • Flying brooms


(Bear with me. I have a point.)

Do you dream the same dream ever?  Mine repeat a lot with little changes – it’s like rereading those books with multiple endings.  The latest repeating one… dancing at Cush with friends, being insulted by some random guy, stalking out, he accosts me at the exit & hits me.  Here’s where it changes each time.  Sometimes, I hit back and run.  Others, my guy friends (mysteriously hiding in the backdrop) leap to my defense.  And last night, I just sat down and cried.

In some ways, I’d like to have that boyfriend or guy friend stand up for me.  It isn’t out of a want to act weak and helpless.  Rather, I’d like to see that they would – that presented with such a situation – they’d come to my rescue.

But I don’t need saving.  I can rescue myself.

Chatting with my guy friends, I’ve gotten the impression that many guys like to be the Protector.  Yet, they have difficultly with a crying girl.  And feel emasculated by an independent woman who doesn’t need a strong man to keep her feeling safe.

Where is the median?  I don’t cry or freak out often enough to warrant a damsel in distress.  I don’t usually give anyone the chance to standup for me.  But I love having someone else be the stronger one – both physically & emotionally - because they make me feel safe.

Thoughts? Personal conflicts? Weirdass dreams to share?

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